How to say you're sorry?

I have been trying and trying for days to put together the words to explain to someone that I love how I feel about her. I have done her many wrongs in the past, and a while back I tried doing what I thought was the right thing by distancing myself from her. I thought maybe that would help us both to get on with things, but instead I have made her think I don't want her in my life at all.

It seems like all I ever say is I am sorry to her. In all honesty, I don't know why she has ever kept speaking to me. At the same time, I know that I owe my life to her in a most literal sense.

In a life of decisions that I mostly regret, the things I have done and the way I have treated her will always be there. She will never be one of them though, and is among the few things I am truly thankful for.

I love you, my dear. Merry Christmas.

The Sucksit Square Home Owners Association

Somebody needs their butt kicked and hard enough to make them have to do a headstand to take a crap. I thought I had seen just about every scumbag left-wing unpatriotic thing that could be done but this sets a new low.

How dare some homeowners association threaten a man who served our nation through 3 wars and won our highest decoration the Congressional Medal of Honor, which the idiot reporter did not even refer to properly. The man is 90 years old, and devoted his life to serving our nation. Unlike his fellow homeowners that flagpole and the flag he flies means something to him. He has fought for it and shed his blood for it; he has killed and he has lost those he considered friends and brothers for that flag.

To Colonel Barfoot, thank you for your service, Sir. Unlike your neighbors some of us do appreciate your service and what the flag means to you.

Coping

The last couple of weeks have not been good ones for me. After a close friend losing his daughter to an auto accident; two weeks ago Friday starting off the curse it has stayed bad from there. She was only 29 and a veteran of Iraq as well, and to lose her so suddenly had everyone dumbstruck to say the least. Then to have my mom go in for her knee replacement surgery on Monday, and trying to cope with constantly changing weather that has me in fits.

Trying to survive with having the boys here and being at school myself is way more than I ever thought it would be. I am beginning to wonder how the hell I ever used to do it? With headaches thrown in and the 5 year old version of satan to boot, Buffalo would almost be a restful change of pace. I had to use my cane at school last week, and it hurt me more than anything else has.

Monday was the final destruction of the old me, I registered with the student disability services office. I missed classes last Thursday and Friday, because imitrex was my last resort both days. One of my professors has been giving me a hard time since it wasn't official with the school, and now it is. I hate it too, because now i have to have meetings with all my professors and the head of student services so that they can go over Dr. F's notes and decide how they can best help my needs. So much for what was left of the old me.

What the true heroes are made of

I found these accounts of the battle for COP (Combat OutPost) Keating today, and I have to post the links to them and hopefully as many as possibly will read the stories of these brave men as possible. The first link is to Maggie's Notebook: and details some of the story as well as the relief fund that has been established to help replace the physical goods that these men have lost. The must read though is SGT Daddy's story, and everyone who has been there needs to thank him for sharing his story and for sharing it with all of us so soon after the battle. I know it can't have been easy for him to do so, and thank you. Some of us do know and appreciate what you're doing, so please stay safe and know that you in are in our prayers.

Heroes

I did not know you, and yet
You were my brothers. I
First heard your names only
A couple of days ago. I
know you’re in God’s hands.

I won’t mourn you’re passing,
Instead I am thankful. Thankful
That men such as you have
Lived, and proud to serve in
The same Army that you did.

You’re sacrifice was the ultimate
For a country and a people
That weren’t your own. I only
Hope they know someday the
Price you paid for them.

Know that you are remembered
And that we will not forget you.
You are one of us, and always
Will be. Our thoughts and prayers
Are with your family and friends.

What Did They Do?

I read the news and rage fills me with
The news that 8 of my brothers have
Died. They don't stay in the news for
long, we all need to know that David
Letterman is cheating on his wife.

That he is a douchebag and can't keep
his zipper closed is news? Maybe to his
Wife, but why the hell do I care? We have
Lost 8 examples of what real men are and
He is what is left what a deal we got there.

Can somebody try cloning Patton? There
Is a shitload of slapping to be done and we
Might better get some bullets for his six-gun
Too. What happened too when we had real
Heroes to look up to and not made for TV kinds?

The Golden Casket of Petty Officer Monsoor shows
Just the sort of hero we need. Do you know who
he is Though? That gold was forged in the hearts
Of men who are iron, and the cost is paid with their
devotion and blood that others will never have too.

For me I will always carry them in my heart and
In my thoughts. I have had the privilege of having
served with some of them, and known many more.
I love them all and will always do whatever I can,
Stay safe my brothers, and sleep sound tonight.

A youtube tribute to PO Monsoor that all should see

Fox news story about PO Monsoor a true hero

Surviving

Getting through tomorrow is my only goal right now. I have been keeping up in all my classes except for math, and I have to see the math center today before I go see Joanne for that. English is taken care of but I still love writing no matter what kind it is.

What is really funny is that I can just crank out writing about anything with just a little bit of time. It is always going to be one of my favorite activities of all times though.

Actors are dumbasses

I don't care what anyone says, but most of hollywood has their head squarely up their fourth point of contact. Roman Polanski has been on the run from US law for 32 years for drugging and raping a 13 year old girl, and a bunch of actors and directors want him to be forgiven for his film credits? I think they all need their butts kicked back into reality; he is a rapist and child molester. That means he is a felon that has been fleeing justice for 32 years, and should be in the iron bar motel. Where if there is an Almighty Being that provides justice he will be on the receiving end of what he did to that poor girl and I hope and pray that the person who does it to him is about 350 pounds and as loving and tender with him as a pack of hyenas on a fresh kill.

I don't care what movies you made or what awards you were going to receive Polanski. YOU ARE A SCUMBAG AND I HOPE THAT YOU ROT IN JAIL FOR WHAT YOU DID!!!

Reporters deserve anything they get

I do not care what anyone says about freedom of the press but the media has gone too far this time. The reason I am so angry is here. Those rat b***ards have no respect or an ounce of compassion in them. No matter what people say the media is one of the military's biggest enemies and embedded journalists should not be allowed any longer after the AP story of Lance Corporal Bernard and the photos of him that his parents asked not be published. This young man gave his life for our country and the AP uses photographs of his death to help them sell more copies.

It was bad enough when families had the morons of the Westboro Baptist Church invading their time of mourning with their protests. This goes beyond that though. First, the AP showed his parents some of the last images of their child's life and were asked not to publish them in respect to their son. They disregarded their wishes and printed them anyway. Even when the SecDef Robert Gates asked them to show some form of human decency out of respect for the family and this young man he was ignored by the AP.

I know I will say a prayer tonight for Lance Corporal Bernard and his family that they find some solace. I will also say a prayer for all our servicemembers out there in harm's way. All you b***ard's and b***hes that are embedded with them, I hope the next round is on you and you deserve anything that happens to you on the battlefield.

Kudos Mr. Rudd

I can not claim credit for this speech as it is my Americanized version of a speech given by Australian PM Kevin Rudd that has angered many people. My feelings of my version are that I served this country's military and I have bled for it, and for the rights of those I disagreed with to say what they want. Guess what now it is my turn, and now if only we had a leader that had balls to step up and say this:

"IMMIGRANTS, NOT AMERICANS, MUST ADAPT. Take it or
leave it. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we
are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist
attacks on September 11, 2001, we have experienced a surge in
patriotism by the majority of Americans."

"This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles,
trials and victories by millions of men and women who
have sought freedom."

"We speak mainly ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese,
Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to
become part of our society, learn the language!"

"Most Americans believe in God. This is not some Christian,
right wing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and
women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly
documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our
schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part
of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture."

"We will accept your beliefs, and will not question why. All we
ask is that you accept ours, and live in harmony and peaceful
enjoyment with us."

"This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and
we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are
done complaining, whining, and griping about our Flag, our Pledge, our
Christian beliefs, or our way of life, I highly encourage you take advantage of
one other great American freedom, THE RIGHT TO LEAVE."

"If you aren't happy here then LEAVE. We didn't force
you to come here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU
accepted."

Loving and Losing

I looked back on the last post before my two recent, and I was thinking of the time when it was written and who it was written for. I was in love with the most wonderful woman in the world at the time. Even though she is an Australian and I an American, we maintained our relationship for more than two years up until the spring of 2006 when I was in Iraq. Then I committed the most horrible mistake of my life, and ended that relationship.

I think of what it cost me now, and think I am the world's biggest fool. She is still my best friend in the world, and I would do anything for her. She has been going through health troubles though, and I am there as much as I can be for her. I just can't help thinking though that if I hadn't been a better person then that we would be together now, and I would be physically with her to help her through these times.

I know I have told her many times how special she is to me, but hopefully she will read these words here and they will have a little more impact. The times we have shared together are the happiest memories of my life, and there is nothing that I would ever trade for them. I remember when she used to get mad at me for the gifts I bought her, but then I remember the same smiles and joy those gifts brought to us.

No matter what you think my dear. You are not alone in this, I love you and I will be here for you.

M