I'm just worn out, and I'm not sure what to do anymore. Part of me is screaming to give up because no one should have to live like this. I just don't want to deal with the mental health, the GI problems and migraines.

It seems like every new medicine they try works for a while, and then things just get worse and worse. Now I can't help wondering if the serotonin syndrome has been the problem all long and the cause of the GI troubles.

The idea that this could be the cause of the diarrhea, nausea and vomiting along with the lack of appetite and the craving for protein.

There's days that I'm struggling and I'm just about out of strength to keep struggling. At the same time I just want to sleep and try getting through this and raising hell to get help with it.

I want to be with my wife and enjoy my family. The only thing I am is angry and toxic and I don't want to be, and I'm trying with every fiber of my being not to be that way. It's not the life I want or I deserve and my wife certainly doesn't deserve to go through this nor Rowan either.

I just want to be me, and to enjoy my life. I'm not asking to be without pain or life's troubles I just want a break