Fear of a New Beginning

Soon it begins again, the
Dread is inside of me, and 
I wonder if I'm opening 
Pandora's Box this time. Will 
It be the one that breaks me?

I think of the old song, but
For me "I lost parts of my 
Body and parts of my mind. 
It was written for Vietnam 
Vets, but still applies for ours.

It has been 11 years since I 
Locked up this box. I never 
Wanted to open it again, but
I have to. The demons inside 
Are screaming to be loosed.

I, also, have to deal with Ro
And with LeRoy and feelings
Of guilt that both of them still
Hold over me. It may not be 
Logical to others, it is for me.

I know I'm in the place where 
I can deal with these things in
The safest and best way. I am 
Surrounded by vets, counselors 
and staff who'll help if I need it.

There will be days it will break 
Me down, but I know that I have 
The support all around me when
I need it. Just as I will do it for my
Brothers and sisters in time of need.